The Chit-Chat

First of all, I have to apologize for updating about this so late. Many of you have called or texted to see how things went, and I have felt so badly that I haven't done an adequate job of informing everyone of how great the conversation went. I had planned on blogging on Thursday night, but my mind was spinning in a thousand different directions and I was trying to pack for our trip to Dallas for the weekend, so I ended up falling asleep instead of typing. Belated nonetheless, here's how it went.......

I hung up the phone on Thursday night and cried hard for a while. I had prayed so hard along with many of you that T would feel extremely loved by our Father that I had somewhat overlooked the feeling myself, and as soon as the end button had been pushed, the love that the Father has for me overwhelmingly filled the room. He is amazing! I think lately I have been desiring so much for her to experience the goodness of God that I really haven't slowed down enough to experience it myself. So soaking up God's love for me was a great way to end an incredible evening! I won't share every little detail about our conversation mainly for the sake of time and my fingers, but I will share the highlights to what I believe God is beginning to do in our journey. For starters, we talked for almost an hour. This was quite different from last time. The case worker sat there quietly (I'm sure she was really doing laundry or checking her email), and we chatted like long lost friends. We talked about her daughter and what things take place in her every day life. She shared about her situation and how difficult it has been for her while trying to decide what to do. She shared about her plans to go back to school once this is behind her. At one point in the conversation, I just sat in silence listening to her talk and cried to myself out of sadness that no one that I know and love will probably ever get to meet her. She is a remarkable lady who despite the difficulty of the situation, deems it only perfect sense for her to be completely selfless and place this baby with us. She desires nothing more than to keep this baby and raise it in a family that loves it unconditionally, but as she said, "Every child deserves a mom and dad that love it like crazy, and I can only give it half of the equation." I just can't say enough about how incredible she is and how amazing our God is.

At different points throughout the conversation I got to reinforce again how much it meant to us that she requested us and how honored we were for the opportunity of sharing in this experience with her hoping that she felt the sincerity of my words. For those of you who remember parts of our first journey with her, you probably remember a time when I was praying fervently that T would see Jesus in me. And then she requested to see me before her c-section so that I could hold her while she cried. As her case worker said a couple of days later, "She saw comfort in you, and that rarely happens in situations like this." Well, it wasn't me she saw comfort in. I was just a willing vessel He chose to use, and we have been praying that we would have many more humbling opportunities in this journey. Well, during our time, she paused and said, "I don't know if I'm being out of line here, but I was wondering something...." My mind immediately was filled with thousand of things she could possibly be asking, and then she began to cry again and asked if I would consider being in the c-section with her. I was speechless. To my knowledge, you only get one person, and last time that was her case worker. So, for her to say that it would mean a lot to her if I would be in there with her.......I can't even articulate exactly how that made me feel. I'm still speechless at the crafty way God positions us in unimaginable places to minister to those who are hurting. She went on to make several other comments in the conversation about the timing of it all and how it just seems to work out perfectly. She had even brought up how perfect the timing was last time as well. She would make comments about little things regarding her pregnancy somewhat out of disbelief that these things had turned out the way they had, and I would just sit there in awe of God because I had prayed those very things over her even before I knew I was praying them over T. God is just so good!

Ok, so I feel like I have rambled on and on and have left out a lot of the conversation, but I will wrap up with an update on the update. So, we still do not have medical records, and T said she released them last week. I called my case worker last night and she said that they would have a staff meeting this morning at which she would collect all the information she could. I do not have a preference at all on gender of this baby, and the only reason I am a bit anxious to find out (besides the obvious excitement) is because of the work that I need to be doing if this baby is a girl! Our case worker then called back a couple of hours later and said that T is having heavy contractions and was going to try and hold off until this morning so that she could see her doctor. I am supposed to hear some time today on what her doctor has told her and what the plan is from here. She desperately needs to get to Utah. It is not ideal for any of us for her to have this baby in the state she is currently living in, so this would be our biggest prayer need right now. Thanks again for praying for us! God hears the pleas of His saints, and He's moving mightily!